So last night, I’m channel surfing and I land on FOX to catch the last few seconds of “The Simpsons.” Just as the credits wind down, on comes a commercial for the next program: “American Idol.” Now I confess to not being much of an “American Idol” follower. But I read about music quite a bit, so I’m well aware of the show’s influence and staggering popularity. Surprisingly, I also know who some of the winners and losers are. Yeah, they’re all over the news, so it’s no big deal. Maybe that’s why I don’t regularly watch “American Idol.”
Truth be told, I’m not particularly fond of the concept behind “American Idol.” Most of these kids who try out are pretty clueless. They all try to sing like Mariah Carey and Justin Timberlake. And the judges — Randy Jackson, Paul Abdul and Simon Cowell — perpetuate the notion by praising these kids who are desperately working to become fabricated carbon copies of today’s biggest pop singers. Hearing this stuff makes my ears burn.
This past season, I had heard, things have loosened up, and some of the finalists are actually decent musicians and singers. I never tuned in to find out until last night, which was billed as the season’s two-night finale. It’s now down to two contestants or singers or whatever the hell they are, and they’re both named David. David Cook looks like a clean-cut rocker type with a just-got-out-of-bed head of hair and a strange, scruffy beard. David Archuleta is much younger and rather ordinary looking. He’s apparently the better singer.
Cowell saw the potential in Archuleta early on, and stated publicly that he would win. After last night’s match (the show had an annoying boxing theme to give it a masculine edge), it’s easy top see why. Cook’s edgy delivery didn’t sit well with the judges, even though they seem to have given him mostly positive props. They were practically on their knees whenever Archuleta sang. I agree he is technically better than Cook, but this kid has absolutely no balls. Pretty much like all the other American Idols.
What surprised me the most about last night’s show was the choice of material. For the first round, both contestants sang classic rock songs with eight-word titles. Cook gave a strong, somewhat strained performance of U2’s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” Archuleta fired back with a smooth reading of Elton John’s “Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me.” Cowell commended Cook, but declared Archuleta the winner. Jackson and Abdul added little, reaping acclaim on virtually anything that moved. Later, I could have sworn I heard Jackson utter something along the lines of, “You dogs hang out because we’ll be right back after these messages from our bad-ass sponsor, McDonald’s…” I could be wrong about this though.
For round two, the Davids each sang new songs by unknown songwriters (well, unknown to me). Surprise, surprise — both songs were forgettable, but Cowell still gave a thumbs up to Archuleta. At this point, I wasn’t really clear why the “judges” were still involved because the winner is chosen by viewers who call in and vote. All I know is that they’re paid enormous salaries and relish in their rolls of finding new stars. Like a lot of what went on during the hour, the judges’ comments functioned as filler.
It’s inevitable: both Davids will win record deals. And whoever wears the crown will hardly conquer all. Ask losers Clay Aiken, Chris Daughtry and Jennifer Hudson about that. But after round three, it’s pretty obvious Archuleta is going to win. I admired the fact that Cook tackled Collective Soul’s “The World I Know.” Predictably though, Archuleta could have sung the phone book (as suggested by Jackson) and everyone would have fallen all over themselves. Why he chose to desecrate John Lennon’s “Imagine” is beyond rational thought. Nevertheless, it was short, sweet and swayed the judges, who have no real say in the final outcome. I’m not sure I can forgive anyone for turning a classic rock gem like “Imagine” into a sappy ballad.
Tonight, they’ll waste a couple of hours with guest stars and finally declare a winner. I predict that winner will be David Archuleta. His annoying stage father will probably quit his job and try to manage his son’s career. If the industry has anything to say about it, they’ll eat him alive. I’m not going to tune in to find out. I’d rather watch the Lakers play the Spurs. I mean I live in L.A. and “American Idol” will be the top news story at 11 unless the Lakers win. Go Lakers!
