If someone would have told me 30 years ago that Black Sabbath’s lead singer Ozzy Osbourne would become a television star, I would have fought to my death denying that such a thing could ever happen in this or any other lifetime. Boy, was I wrong. Not only did The Osbournes, arguably the very first celebrity reality show, become a bona fide hit — now Ozzy and his clan are set to host a variety show of their very own. And they have the geniuses behind American Idol to back them up.
In the 60s, variety shows flourished when rock came along and kicked them in the pants. The Ed Sullivan Show played host to the Beatles, the Stones, the Doors and Herman Hermits, while The Smother Brothers Comedy Hour featured the Who, Cream and Jefferson Airplane. In the 70s, Sonny and Cher got a variety show of their own, but most legitimate rock acts were avoiding prime time. Instead, shows like ABC’s In Concert, Don Kirschner’s Rock Concert and The Midnight Special started popping up, capturing slews of bands on stage and rocking hard late into the night.
I once attended a taping of Don Kirschner’s Rock Concert in 1974. It took place at the old Long Beach Civic Center and featured Steppenwolf, Labelle, Ozark Mountain Daredevils, Brian Auger’s Oblivion Express and Average White Band. I arrived at 5:00 in the afternoon and didn’t leave until well after 1:00 in the morning, on a school night no less. It was a long, tedious night due to set changes and numerous takes to get things just right. The spontaneity that is rock and roll got lost in the shuffle. Still, some of the performances were memorable and I got my first whiff of low-grade grass. Oh to be young in the early 70s.
With the arrival of MTV, the ill-defined relationship between television and music became more pronounced and significant. Lots of traditionalists weren’t too happy with the monumental shift that MTV introduced to the music biz. Music videos became essential marketing tools, and if you couldn’t adapt, you were dead in the water. Even groups like ZZ Top and the Grateful Dead — you know, bands without flashy images — found ways to make music videos. But as the video game became over saturated, shunning the process became almost as cool as embracing it.
The 90s functioned more as a transitive period until the reality TV phenomenon came about, and suddenly every star with an eye for more exposure was lining up for a close-up and a reality show of their own. The Osbournes certainly had its moments, and it set a precedent for others shows to follow. VH1 dumped a lot of its music-based programming, and switched over to celebrity-based reality shows. Many of these were filled with rock musicians hoping to revive careers hovering on the brink of irrelevance. What they hoped to accomplish by appearing on The Surreal Life is anyone’s guess.
While blasting The Osbournes for their behavior, Gene Simmons went on to create Family Jewels, a reality show of his own, that virtually copied every frame from The Osbournes’ playbook, albeit with less raunch and profanity. Hoping to cash in on the American Idol phenomenon, CBS rolled out Rock Star, pitting various unknown lead singers against one another for the crown of fronting a world-class band. In this case, singing for INXS and then a short-lived band lead by Tommy Lee didn’t amount to much. The love fest between TV and music can get downright silly.
So, what are we to expect from the Prince of Darkness, his headstrong wife, and their two “celebritized” kids? According to one report, the new show, with a working title of The Osbournes: Loud and Dangerous or The Osbournes’ Super-Terrific Happy Hour, will “mix elements of competition, stunts and performances.” Guess they forgot about the music, huh?
